The
condition of being honoured esteemed or well regarded. This is the most
commonly understood definition of respect. In fact, the thesaurus goes on the
describe respect as a courteous regard for peoples feelings and links respect
to honour, kindness, obedience and tolerance. So what is the role of respect in
Islam? Islam states that it is the responsibility of each individual to treat
all of creation with respect, honour and dignity. The most deserving of respect
is the Creator Himself. Respect begins with loving and obeying the commandments
of God and from this respect flow all the manners and high standards of
morality that are inherent in Islam. “And whosoever obeys God and His
Messenger, fears God, and keeps his duty (to Him), such are the successful ones.”
(Quran 24:52)
To be one
of those who are successful, Islam requires that each individual learn to obey
the Creator and thus treat humankind, our environment, the believers and
ourselves with respect. Bearing in mind that the believers are one nation, and
if one part of the nation is in peril so too are all its parts, respect for
each other is essential. Islam teaches us that we are held accountable not only
for our
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thoughts
and actions but for the influence, we have over others and the creation. Islam
asks us to enjoin the good and forbid the evil. Islam binds respect to peace,
love and compassion, all attributes of the One God, therefore to fulfil our
obligation to honour and obey God one must respect the honour, reputation and
privacy of others. Respect involves staying completely away from the major sins
of backbiting, lying, slander, and gossip. Respect for humanity means staying
away from sins that will sow discord among the people and lead to destruction.
Respect includes loving for our brothers and sisters what we love for
ourselves. Respect involves treating others the way we expect to be treated and
the way we hope God will treat us –with compassion, love and mercy. Major sins
put a barrier between humanity and God’s Mercy and cause all the torment,
misery and evil in this world and the hereafter. God commands us to stay away
from sin and to strive against our own destructive character flaws. He also
singles out suspicion, backbiting and gossip as bringing about nothing but
shame and disgrace.
“O you who
believe! Avoid much suspicion, indeed some suspicions are sins. And spy not,
neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his
dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear God. Verily, God
is the One Who accepts repentance, Most Merciful.” (Quran 49:12) Ibn Abbass, a
companion of Prophet Muhammad and Quran commentator said God forbade backbiting
just as He forbade the eating of dead flesh. Eating dead flesh is something
that people naturally have abhorrence to and they should have the same natural
abhorrence to backbiting one another. Respect involves caring for one another
not shredding characters the way carrion would shred a dead animal.
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Backbiting
Some people
might say that backbiting is merely words and ask what harm it can do. Words
are indeed powerful and have far-reaching effects. In addition to the obvious
lack of respect involved in back biting, mere words cause pain to the one
maligned and consign the backbiter to the fires of Hell. Prophet Muhammad, may
the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, warned us of the fate awaiting
those who utter disrespect. He said, “A man might speak a word without thinking
about its implications, but because of it, he will plunge into the Hellfire
further than the distance between the east and west.” 1
On one
occasion, a close companion of Prophet inquired how he could be admitted into
Paradise and distanced from the Hellfire. Prophet Muhammad mentioned the
virtues of good deeds and asked his companion if he desired to know the foundation
of good deeds. The companion answered “certainly”, where upon Prophet Muhammad
took a hold of his own tongue and said, “restrain yourself from this”. The
companion asked incredulously “are we held accountable for the things that we
say?” Prophet Muhammad replied that nothing sends people into the hellfire
faster than the “harvest of their tongues”. 2
Having
established that backbiting is anything but mere words how can we define
exactly what it is. Backbiting is talking about somebody in a derogatory way or
in a way that would not be pleasing to the one being spoken about. It is called
back biting because it is usually done when the person being maligned is absent
or “behind his back”. Prophet Muhammad defined backbiting as “to mention about
your brother something that he would dislike having mentioned about him”. 3
Imam An Nawawi commented that backbiting included “what concerns his body, his
1 Saheeh
Bukhari, Saheeh Muslim. 2 At Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah. 3 Saheeh Muslim.
------------------------------------------------
religious
practice, his worldly station, his physical appearance, his moral character,
his wealth, his parents, his children, his spouse, his servant, his clothing,
his activities, his smiles and frowns and anything else that pertains to him.
It does not matter if you mention it explicitly by word or implicitly by
indication or a gesture…”
In the same
saying mentioned above, the Prophet Muhammad was asked about backbiting in
relation to truthful comments. He explained the severity of backbiting, and
explained the difference between it and slander, by saying, “If what you said
about your brother is true, then you have backbitten him. If what you said
about him is false, then you have slandered him”. 4 Slander is making a false
statement; it is a major sin and deserves a severe punishment. God says in the
Quran: “And those who malign believing men and women undeservedly bear upon
themselves the guilt of slander and a manifest sin.” (33:58)
In another
narration of Prophet Muhammad, his beloved wife Aisha made a comment about one
of her co-wives by describing her as short, or small in stature. Prophet
Muhammad responded in a way that made clear the severity of her words. He said,
“You have said a word that if it was to be mixed with the water of the sea, it
would contaminate it.” 5
Backbiting has
become so widespread nowadays that people use it as a way of expressing anger
and jealousy. Those who engage in it are disrespecting God by disobeying Him
and harming others. Magazines and television shows are devoted to gossiping and
prying into the private lives of others. There is no respect for privacy, and
contrary to popular belief, the lives of others are not source material for
gossip sessions. The person who habitually engages in backbiting and gossip and
who does not struggle
4 Ibid. 5
At Tirmidhi, Abu Dawood
-----------------------------------------------
against his
desires and begs for God’s forgiveness has lost all respect for himself for he
no longer fears the fires of Hell. The sin is grave, the punishment severe, but
God is Merciful and always accepts sincere repentance. “...if any of you does
evil in ignorance, and thereafter repents and does righteous good deeds (by
obeying God), then surely, He is Oft Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (Quran 6:54) In
this new century punctuated by astounding technological advancement, and
instant global communication it has become commonplace to hear people talk
about respect, or lack of it. One hears about respect for the environment,
respect for other cultures and religions, respect for each other and the catch
cry of the 21st century - self respect. We lose respect for our politicians and
governments, we gain respect for our sporting heroes and actors. We try to
respect our planet by turning off taps and unnecessary lights. We complain
bitterly about our lives and the lack of respect we feel at home and at work.
We live in a topsy- turvy world where we talk reverently of actors who give
charity to drought ravaged countries while we throw food into garbage bins. We
shed tears over drug-addicted singers yet step over the homeless cluttering our
streets. We respect the learned men that warn us of global warming but we
ignore the commandments of our Creator. We understand the significance of
respect but we are unable to attain it. For many of us the essence is lost!
How can we
regain this lost quality of respect that for many of us is seemingly
unattainable? Simply by following God’s commandments and worshipping Him
accordingly. God says in the Quran that He created mankind for no reason except
to worship Him. (Quran 51:56) Worshipping God is showing Him the respect He
deserves. Worshipping God makes it possible for us to treat all of mankind with
respect, it allows us to treat the
----------------------------------
environment
with respect and it gives others permission to respect us. Then are no human
beings more worthy of our respect then those whose piety and closeness to God
is obvious. In the previous article we discussed the dangers inherent in
backbiting and gossip, and how those who engage in such behaviour have lost
respect for themselves and more importantly, for God. As human beings, we all
must struggle against our base desires and one of the hardest sins to resist is
gossiping about others. However, to worship and love God in the correct way it
is imperative that we try to rid ourselves of the evil of backbiting. One way
to clear ourselves of this ignoble character trait is to cultivate closeness to
God by reflecting upon the verses of Quran and sayings of Prophet Muhammad that
remind us of God’s punishment and encourage us to repent.
“Or do they
think that We hear not their secrets and their private counsel? (Yes, We do)
and Our Messengers (appointed angels in charge of mankind) are by them, to
record.” (Quran 43:80)
Prophet
Muhammad encouraged us to feel shame before God; He said, “Feel shame before
God as you ought to feel shame before Him. So guard the head and what it
contains, guard the stomach and what you put in it, and think upon death and
returning to dust” 6 We should feel this shame whenever we backbite, and take
the opportunity to reflect upon what we loose if we engage in this behaviour.
We loose the essence of respect.
Disrespect
is not part of Islam
Prophet
Muhammad was continually teaching his companions and reminding them about the
seriousness of disobeying God. In many sayings, he explains the grave
consequences of not respecting the rights of others. He said, “The one who is
bankrupt from among my followers is he who comes on the Day of
6 At
Tirmidhi
--------------------------------------
Resurrection
with prayer, charity, and fasting to his credit. However, he had insulted this
person, struck that person, and seized the wealth of another, because of which
his good deeds will be taken from him. Then, if his good deeds are exhausted,
the sins of those whom he wronged will be taken from them and foisted upon him
and then he will be cast into the Fire.” 7 A true believer strives to improve
himself and is aware of his responsibility to protect others rather than
disrespect them. In Islam, believers do not disrespect each other nor do they
tolerate disrespect towards their brothers and sisters.
Another
quick and easy way to protect ourselves from the evils of gossip and backbiting
is to stay away from those who engage in it. God says in the Quran: “And when
they hear dirty, false, evil vain talk, they withdraw from it and say, "To
us our deeds, and to you your deeds. Peace be to you. We seek not the
ignorant.” (Quran 28:55)
Prophet
Mohammad placed great emphasis on being around righteous people rather then
those who occupy their time with vain, useless activities or talk. He said,
“The likeness of a good companion and a bad companion is that of a person
carrying musk and another who works the bellows. The person carrying musk might
give you some of it or at the very least, you will enjoy the pleasant scent.
The person with the bellows will either singe your clothing or at least make
you suffer from the bad smell.” 8
Keeping company
with righteous people helps one to avoid backbiting and gossip because caring
friends will remind each other of the evils and punishments associated with
such behaviour. It is also useful to reflect on our own shortcomings and
character flaws rather then gossip about the faults of others. The great
scholar, Hasan al-Basri said: “We used to remind each other that whoever faults
his brother on account of a sin that he had
7 Saheeh
Muslim. 8 Ibid.
------------------------------------
repented
from, God will punish him by having him fall into that sin himself.”
Having
established that backbiting, and gossip are great sins, the scholars of Islam
have explained however, that there are certain conditions under which it may be
permissible to talk about the faults and characteristics of others. 9 It is
allowable for one who is being oppressed to inform the authorities of the
wrongs being committed against him. It is allowable for those who see vice to
inform those who are capable of removing it. It is also allowable to mention
people’s faults when seeking sincere religious advice from those qualified to
give it. It is permissible to mention someone by describing them (blind, deaf,
in a wheelchair etc) as long as it is not done in a belittling or mocking
fashion. Lastly, it is not allowable to hide the character faults of a person
known to you from those seeking marriage or business advice. Careful analysis
of the above conditions reveals that respect is inherent in these exceptions.
To oppress someone is to disrespect them, to commit vice is to disrespect the
community and to deceive people who ask for sincere advice is also a form of
disrespect. If we feel ourselves disrespected then we should look to our own
sins and turn to God in repentance. If the essence of respect is missing in our
lives then we can regain it by worshipping God with full submission. Islam
insists that we show respect for God, by obeying Him and to obey Him inherently
means respecting others and ourselves.
In the
previous articles about respect, we discussed how respect for each other, our
environment and ourselves was inherent in the religion of Islam. The concept of
treating ourselves and everything around us with respect is not possible
without complete submission to God, and without understanding how and why we
surrender to His will. God reminds us in Quran that our sole purpose in life is
to worship Him.
9 Fataawa
Al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah li’l-Buhooth al-‘Ilmiyyah wa’l-Ifta’ (26/10).
-----------------------------
“And I
(God) created not the jinn and mankind except that they should worship Me
(Alone).” (Quran 51:56) Worshipping God does not spending the entire day in one
place praying, it does not mean that we neglect the life of this world in
favour of a life of seclusion; what it means is that we fulfill our obligations
towards God and attempt to have Him constantly on our minds and tongues. The
mundane tasks of life become worship when they are done to please our Creator.
When we fulfil our obligations such as to pray, fast, and give charity, it
becomes worship when done with a sense of gratitude and humbleness. God does
not need us, for He is Self-sufficient and Omnipotent. We are the ones in need
of Him. He is the reason for our existence and He is the foundation on which we
should build our lives. Lives lived with out purpose lead to nothing but loss.
“By the time! Man is in loss, Except those who believe and do righteous good
deeds, and recommend one another to the truth, and recommend one another to
patience.” (Quran 103:1-3) However, filling our lives with purpose enables
contentment and this allows us to show respect for each other and ourselves.
Respect for God means obeying Him. Obeying God means we are in the enviable
position of being worthy of others respect. Failure to surrender to God leads
to lives devoid of respect. Treating each other with contempt, gossiping and
backbiting shows a lack of respect in our lives. Engaging in the great sins of
lying, spying on others and using bad words also means we are not worthy of
being shown respect by others.
Lying
Lying is
one of the major reasons for corruption in society. Any form of lying creates
enmity and sews disrespect between people, but the most obnoxious form of lying
is to falsely attributing things to God or to his Prophets and Messenger. Islam
--------------------------
forbids
lying and enjoins the believers to be truthful. The words of Quran testify to
this. God says: “O you who believe! Be wary of God, and be with those who are
true (in words and deeds).” (Quran 9:119) And “…who does more wrong than one
who invents a lie against God, to lead mankind astray without knowledge?”
(Quran 6:144) In his narrations and sayings, Prophet Muhammad often exhorted
his followers to adhere to honesty and stay away from the vices inherent in
lying. He said,
“Beware of
telling lies, for lying leads to immorality and immorality leads to Hellfire.”
10
Even one of
his greatest enemies attested to the fact that Prophet Muhammad was truthful
and commanded truthfulness. Abu Sufyan11, although despising the Prophet,
revealed that he commanded his follows to pray, to be truthful and to uphold
the ties of kinship. 12
Spying
Prophet
Muhammad warned his followers of the evils of spying on others when he said,
‘Beware of
suspicion, for suspicion is the falsest of speech. Do not eavesdrop; do not spy
on one another; do not envy one another; do not forsake one another; do not
hate one another. Be, O slaves of God, brothers.” 13
10 Saheeh
Muslim. 11 In the early years of Islam Abu Sufyan was an avowed enemy of
Prophet Muhammad and Islam; however, after the conquest of Mecca he embraced
Islam. 12 Saheeh Al-Bukhari, Saheeh Muslim. 13 Saheeh Muslim.
------------------
Indeed God
himself has reminded us to avoid suspicion. He said: “Avoid much suspicion;
indeed some suspicions are sins. And spy not…” (Quran 49:12) In Islam, it is
not permissible to search for or reveal the secrets of others. Spying and all
it involves, such as eavesdropping and asking too many private questions, is
forbidden because it involves disrespecting the private lives of others by
disobeying God. The great and well respected Caliph Umar ibn Abdul-Azeez said
to someone who passed on malicious gossip to him: “If you wish, we can look
into the matter. If you are lying, you will be one of the people mentioned by
God in the verse, “If a rebellious evil person comes to you with news, verify
it, lest you harm people in ignorance, and afterwards you become regretful to
what you have done.” (Quran 49:6) If you are telling the truth, you will be one
of the people mentioned in the verse, “A slanderer, going about with
calumnies.” (Quran 68:11) Or if you wish, we will forgive you”. He said,
“Forgive me, O Leader of the believers, I will never do it again.” Lying,
gossiping, slandering and spying are great sins, so to is using bad words.
Foul Language
Bad words
show disrespect to those being spoken about and a total lack of self-respect.
Reviling, insulting, cursing and rudeness, these are bad words and they usually
are uttered when someone is overcome by anger. Anger is an emotion that may
open the doors to all kinds of evil and disrespect. It can sometimes result in
breaking the bonds of goodwill and even destroy family relationships. Anger can
even move beyond just using insulting words and cause one person to physically
harm another.
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Prophet
Muhammad was not a person to use insulting words or obscene language and he did
not curse people. If he wanted to rebuke someone he would say, “What is wrong
with him? – woe to him!” 14 The true believer, the one submitted to God, must
learn to control his tongue and not speak unless he says something good. In his
sayings, Prophet Muhammad reminds us that whoever believes in God the Last Day
(or Judgement) must speak good or keep silent15. He said trading insults with a
believer was evil, fighting was minor disbelief and cursing a believer was like
killing him. 16 Stern words indeed, they leave no room for misinterpretation.
Bad words lead to evil doing and ultimately punishment. God reminds us that the
best speech is the remembrance of God because it brings contentment and a sense
of peace. “… verily, in the remembrance of God do hearts find rest” (Quran
13:28) A person who keeps himself busy doing good deeds and seeking God’s
pleasure is a person who knows the meaning of respect.
14 Saheeh Al-Bukhari. 15 Saheeh Al-Bukhari, Saheeh Muslim 16
Saheeh Al-Bukhari.
Source: islamhouse.com/
Source: islamhouse.com/
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